Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Deep Fried......

CHUGRAD MCANDREWS


Have you ever seen something and wished you could literally reach right in and scratch your brain at it? Oh boy, today I had a whopper of a WHAT???? moment.

I was just perusing recipes for Halloween and Fall, looking at various easy treats to make with kids, Autumn monkey bread recipes, foods you could make for a Halloween party, yada yada. I don’t even *do* Halloween, but since I do have my The Magic Meal Fairy and other people do celebrate Halloween, I like to share neat recipes for them. Or cute food-themed costumes. 

So there I am, looking at Monster Pops, Pumpkin Whoopie Pies, Pumpkin Seed Brittle, and (mashed) Potato Ghosts, and I came across…..

Deep-Fried Tarantulas.

Did you hear me??

DEEP-FRIED TARANTULAS!!! 

Okay, so, from the photo, I was thinking it must use those fried noodles you get with chop suey, you know, at the Chinese restaurant? 

No. 

I click to see the recipe, and the guy talks about it before he gives the recipe. I’m skimming over his monologue and he’s saying something about how tarantulas are “more satisfying” because grasshoppers and beetles are “heavily armored,”  and I'm thinking, this *has* to be a joke. It has to be. There’s no way this is for real.

No. 

I go down to the ingredients and there it is: “2 frozen adult Texas brown, Chilean rose, or similar-sized tarantulas, thawed.”

O.M.G. Thawed?? People freeze tarantulas like broccoli or a package of meat? O_O

This isn’t a joke. It’s real. This guy has a recipe for Deep-Fried Tarantulas….and upon further reading, I discover that this recipe is included in his book, The Eat-A-Bug Cookbook. He also won the gold medal in a Big Bug Cook-Off in 2011 with this recipe. GAH!!!!!

So, here I am, trying to get my eyebrows back down where they belong and trying to pry the look of horror off my face. I might need a crowbar for that. I’m not trying to be judgmental to bug eaters, but all I can think of is…..

WHY??? Seriously, you *do* realize there is real food out there, right? I mean, it’s probably even way less expensive than ordering  “2 frozen adult Texas brown, Chilean rose, or similar-sized tarantulas, thawed.” 

Where do you even get them?? I doubt you can get them on Amazon. Maybe a specialty shop. From Hell. 

Anyway, trust me, there *is* real food out there. No need to resort to bugs. And if my honey felt he just had to eat bugs or insects, whatever they are, especially Deep-Fried Tarantulas…..I don’t think I’d be kissing him any time soon. 

So there you have it. Deep-Fried Tarantulas. The Eat-A-Bug Cookbook. I’m not sure if this tops my stumbling upon a cookbook of recipes using semen. It just might.

At any rate, it’s time to end this. I’m afraid my breakfast is going to come back up. People, be careful out there. It’s a scary world. 

And no, you will NOT see this on The Magic Meal Fairy. Nope. No way, no how, uh-uh. ;-) 


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