Sunday, May 24, 2015

Of Teeth and Oranges and Megan




I reheated some noodles and stew for lunch, and Megan chattered away.

Megan: Can I have a owange too-ooo?

Me: yes, go ahead.

The kids have been wicked into oranges lately.

Megan, passing the orange from hand to hand, starts singing: Hot orange, hot orange! (like hot potato)

The microwave beeps, signaling her food is ready. I pull the bowl out and place it in front of her.

Me: Okay, yours is done.

Megan: Meat.....what for dinner! <giggling, imitating that old commercial>

Me: You silly. :)

Megan: You want my beef?

Me: No, honey, I'm having some.

Megan: Okay, I eat it. I have canine teef back dare to chew wiv. <points at her molars>

Me, laughing: Nope, those are your molars. Your canines are closer to the front. 

Megan: Den I’ll use dem to whip (rip) apart my owange! <giggling more>

Me: Okay….<laughing>…okay. Eat your food. 

It all comes back around to the orange. Did you see what I did there? Around to the orange….aROUND to the orange…..oranges are round….oh well, Megan’s funnier than I am. ;) 


Friday, May 15, 2015

Breaking Wind ;)



Are farts okay to talk about? If not, why not? They’re a natural part of our bodies and everyday life, and let’s face it, setting aside the smell factor, farts can make you laugh. 

Even the names for farts are funny, and there are quite a few: gas, air biscuit, toot, booty belch, panty burp, just to name a few.

So, this afternoon I’ve been inundated with someone’s “fire in the hole!”

Except for the storm, it's been pretty quiet, as only Phil, Megan, and I are home. I’m trying to write, and Megan comes into my room because she doesn’t like the “funder,” as she calls it. 

A long loud fart erupts. Megan giggles. 

I'm trying not to breathe, hiding my face in my top. Man, that stinks!

It’s soon followed by what sounds like a motor cycle peeling out of a parking lot. Megan’s busting up laughing, and I am too. I mean, yeah it smells awful, but the sound is so funny I can’t help it.

“Megan, what in the world did you eat??”

A minute goes by and I can see her straining, giggling softly. 

"Megan, you'd better be careful, you'll poop in your undies!" I warn her.

She giggles, and soon another big drawn out toot emerges from her back end. 

She laughs hysterically as I protest and hide in my shirt again. 

“Megan! Your rump roast stinks!!”

Megan bursts out with belly laughs, and then quiets down.

Within seconds I hear, "Pull my finger!" 

No, Megan. Just no. I choose life.

Friday, May 1, 2015

"It's a *Pwogwam*!"



So today is one of Megan’s Program days. She goes on Wednesdays and Fridays. I get her up at 6:00 in the morning, and she needs to get dressed, use the bathroom, and eat. I do her hair for her and make sure her glasses are sparkling clean while she’s eating, see that she takes her morning medications, and make sure she has a dollar and change to buy a soda when they go out into the community.

Well, this morning Caitlin had gotten off at 6 a.m. from running her shift with the rescue squad. And she made chocolate chip pancakes and sausage for everyone, so she was in the kitchen with Megan whilst I was trying to locate a certain book I wanted to read. 

Aware that it was now 6:59 and Megan’s bus comes at 7:00, I abandoned my search to go check at the door and see if Megan’s bus was here. It came within a minute or so, and Megan was duly hugged and sent sauntering off down the old cement walkway to get on and head off to Program. Caity and I waved to her as the bus pulled out.

And then Caitlin related to me the exchange between her and Megan in the kitchen just minutes before she came rushing down the hallway for her bus. 

Caitlin was at the kitchen counter, making coffee, and Megan had stood up and gotten her coat and 50 lb backpack on. 

Megan: Oooo, oooo! I need a hug!

Caity: Okay. <patting Megan on the back>

She knew I needed Megan to get going, so Caity was trying to hurry Megan along.

Caity: I think I hear the bus…

Megan dramatically grasps the edge of the counter, looking out the windows above the sink, her head bobbing up and down, trying to see the bus. Caity’s trying not to laugh.

Megan: Oh my gosh, I think it’s here!

Caity: Megan!

Megan: What?

Caity: Bye.

Megan: Oh, stop, stop!

Caity: Megan!

Megan: What?

Caity: Have fun at your class.

Megan: Um, it’s not a kwass, it’s a *Pwogwam*!

And so she came down the hall, where I had just looked out the front door, and the bus came. 
In relating all this to me, Caitlin and I just busted up laughing. Caity’s parting thoughts on it:

“She kwacks me up! ;) ”