Friday, September 19, 2014

Gentlemen, Start Your Engines (or How Men Pee)





So, my friend Meg shared this pic on Facebook yesterday, and I did get a chuckle over it, because not only is it true, but the “aim” of males in general can be described in other ways too. 

Or maybe it’s just *my* males that are strange. ;)

My first thought was that with some, it’s not like a shotgun, it’s more like a NASCAR driver doing laps. 



Around 

     and around 

          and around. 

*Turning left again…




Then there are some who are like kids with a Hot Wheels racetrack, who like to do crazy eights…

Loop de loop…cross over…and back around again.

And there are those whose ADHD carries over even into the bathroom. Where they are standing before The Throne, trying to take care of business, and SQUIRREL!!

Annnnd there it goes all over the wall, across the pedestal of the sink, and onto the heating vent. Come winter when the heat goes on for the first time, there gonna be a baaaaaaaad smell no one understands.

Ask me how I know. 

Wait, don’t ask. I think I worked hard to repress that particular memory. 

Then there are those whose insatiable curiosity as they carry out the interminably ho-hum task of emptying the bladder gets the best of them. 

See how they look exactly the same?
They both have, um....a hole?


As they stare at the cat litter box kept on the floor right next to the toilet. 

Maybe it’s the aura of mystery that seems to shroud a “hooded” litter box. It looks like a fort! little boys might think.





Or it just may be the wonderment of the clumping litter…

How would I know? Don’t ask that either. 

Let’s just suffice it to say, how males think they pee and how they actually DO pee are 2 totally different things. 

Yes, I did just write a whole post about how males pee. ;)



*Attention NASCAR fans: I really am joking; I like the sport myself. ;)

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