Today as I was making grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches for lunch, Megan started talking about my brother and how she missed her Uncle Steven. She started crying, so I was hugging her and comforting her, and she said, "I wish I could die instead and he could be alive." My heart just about broke at such love coming from this child of mine who is "mentally retarded."
There were so many things I wanted to say to her, so many concepts were wrapped up in that one sentence she uttered, “I wish I could die instead and he could be alive.”
What ran through my head were things like…it’s not your time, God planned for this for Uncle Steven, this passed through His hands and He knew about it beforehand, we’d all be terribly sad if you weren’t here, etc.
The biggest thing, though, is that what Megan said is God’s plan of salvation in a nutshell. We are born sinful creatures, and the penalty of sin is death. Nothing we could ever do can take that away. Nothing at all.
But lest we despair, God had a plan. He sent His son Jesus, the only sinless and perfect sacrifice, to take our place and die on the cross, that those who would just believe and accept would be saved and live. God loved and loves us that much.
Just like Megan loved her Uncle Steven so deeply, and was so brokenhearted she was willing in her heart to change places with him so he could live, God loves us even more deeply and is brokenhearted over our sinful state and the death sentence we carry over our heads. And He did change places with us, sending His son so we could live.
Megan couldn’t really make a sacrifice like that, but God really could and did. Megan didn’t really think of the cost of sacrificing herself for my brother, she didn’t really understand it, but God did know the cost of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. He understood it fully and it was all part of His divine plan.
I’m always amazed at how the Lord shows us His love through not only what He does, but also through people in our lives. And He doesn’t need perfect vessels to use for that; we’re all cracked anyway. He uses cracked vessels because He loves us even with all our imperfections.
Megan may have Down syndrome, but she can be and has been used by God to teach me so much.
Especially about love. <3