Friday, October 14, 2011

See No Evil

We’ve all had them. Those moments when we see something we do not want to see.

Walk in a room to see your child with his tongue stuck in the peanut butter jar.

Open the fridge to see a half gallon of juice spilled all over. Not Me did it, by the way.

Sweep under the couch and find a new roll of tape in a decidedly unrolled state and a wad of scrunchled up tape the size of Rhode Island.

The moments that make your brow furrow like a contorted wooly bear caterpillar as you think, What in the world did he *do* that for???

Not being biased here by using “he;” you know darn well Timotheus is the one who did it. See? You’re snickering because you know it’s true.

Ryan mostly just sees things done and keeps mum about it in a bond of loyalty to this brother with whom he shares a love/hate relationship. Except if it involves something of his; then he will squeal like a stuck pig.

The girls are almost never the culprits, although I did find the sole pair of tweezers we owned in Megan’s room one day, broken in half.

Don’t ask; I have no clue either. What she was doing with them, why she broke them in half, how she broke them. Ingrown eyebrow hair made of wrought iron?

Doesn’t matter, really. The point is that at least everyday, I see these things that I just do not want to see. The things that make me want to just back out of the room and go crawl into bed.

Unfortunately, I can’t do that. I have to clean them up, put them back together, throw them away, whatever. But quite a long while ago I decided to start taking pictures of these bizarre findings before doing crime scene clean-up.

I am sharing a few with you.

This is the cap to a tube of…….well, that’s the point; I have no clue. I was sweeping the bathroom floor, and when I discovered it, I figured the toothpaste. Nope. That one is still on the tube.

Hmmm…..hydrocortisone cream, muscle rub, arnica gel? And oh good gravy marie, is the tube still here, or was it squeezed out under someone's bed or down the drain? There was the incident months ago when a NEW $17 container of Curls Rock was pumped out right down the sink drain.  

Then we have this prize one: I opened the cupboard one morning to get a cup and was greeted by an open bottle of rubber cement. Empty.

That explained why Timmy was standing on a chair in front of the cupboard so long the day before. Any adhesive in his hands is a cause for concern.

Next up….this is what I found one morning when I had barely put my contacts in. Half of some poor Lego dude. Next to the drain. With the cover set aside. The screws came out again (*how*???) and the poor little soul was just laying there, looking up at me with fixed polymer eyes.

So, now I wonder if his other half is down there somewhere, contributing to the conglomerate glob of hair and whatever else has taken a dive into the great plumbing abyss.

It all adds up, you know. Years ago a tough clog caused us to dismantle the toilet, only to discover that someone had flushed a Buzz Lightyear. I can only imagine what galaxy Buzz thought he was lost in. I could really have fun with that one. ;)

Lastly, this recent discovery in the boys’ room: as I stood from sorting laundry, I was met with another hole in the wall. But this one was more specialer than the other holes they have created: it was filled with Crest cinnamon toothpaste.

 Why? Oh for pity’s sake, I ask myself this very question at least 68 times a day. I said so in my post from Sept. 11th. I just cannot imagine. But at least now I know why the tube of toothpaste went down so quickly.

Oh, and just so you know why I posted the picture of Timmy on the fridge again, it’s because it is NEVER good when you are working on your laptop and look up to see the Freezer Scientist there. You know it!


  1. I remember the Buzz incident quite well. Pulling the toilet out, flipping it upside down and seeing Buzz, smiling back with his toothy grin as if to say "Well hello there...what uncharted planet have I just landed on? Please don't open my helmet just yet - I'm not sure if my eyeballs will be sucked out of their sockets in this atmosphere." Not sure how we got him out, I think we had to pull his arm out of its socket (but at least it wasn't his eyes).

  2. Yes....poor Buzz. I always felt so sorry for the confusion he must have experienced, lol.