Thursday, October 6, 2011

Mount Laundrius


A cotton creature climbing
the wall from boredom?
 Alright, I want to know who fertilized my dirty laundry with Miracle-Gro?? It wasn’t like this just two days ago. I swear we only had a few pajamas and some wash cloths.

What *is* it about dirty laundry that makes it multiply at a rate comparable to bacteria in a fertile bed of mucous membranes? Did you know that some bacteria cells can actually double their population every 9.8 minutes?

Michael making the
laundry detergent.
I am thinking this is what is happening with my laundry. It isn’t that far-fetched. I mean, the laundry is dirty. This usually implies that  it is laced with dirt, food, and various bodily fluids. Bacteria love this stuff.


Of course, with my boys’ penchant for spilling things, especially anything in liquid form, some of the dirty towels just may be very heavily “laced.” As in sopping wet, water-logged, torrentially drenched.


Add in the fact that someone is breaking into our home while we sleep to further saturate the dirty laundry with Miracle-Gro, and yes, I think the conditions are ripe for it to multiply faster than fleas in a cat shelter.

My favorite flavoring,
I mean fabric softener. ;)

Please don’t tell me I’m being ridiculous about an intruder doing this; how else would all that fertilizer get into the laundry?? I don’t buy Miracle-Gro and I’m home all day. Duh.

Sorry for being so snarky. Laundry for six will do that to you sometimes. I know, it’s nothing near what the Duggars (19 Kids and Counting) handle on any given day with their brood.


But as I look on that pile of laundry, which I am working on, my options seem limited. Wear clothing more than one day? Um, not possible for the T & R Wrecking Crew (Timmy and Ryan).

And hanging out to dry. :)


Wear HAZ-MAT suits over our clothing? Wowzers, some of those are upwards of $2000, and day-glo orange isn’t really my speed.


Buy disposable? I can imagine the fashion statement we’ll make with double recrepe draped over our bodies. Cool.


Okay, none of these seems practical.


I’m thinking…..moving to a nudist colony is looking more and more attractive right about now.

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