Thursday, September 15, 2011

I Always Listen to the Voices

*Today I let my imagination loose. That was dangerous. Remind me to keep it on a leash from now on. ;)

This morning I got up and went into the bathroom as per my usual routine. Emptied the old bladder, readying it for a refill, washed my hands, and brushed my teeth. And that’s where my usual routine went awry. Was not usual or routine. For as I pulled on the hand towel a little more to wipe my fingers again, I was surprised by a spider. A Daddy Longlegs, to be exact.

I mindlessly said, “Well, well, what are you doing here with the hand towel? Good thing I saw you!“ And surprised is what I was once more. He answered me.

Spider: I’m just hanging out. The question to be asked is why are *you* yanking on the hand towel.

Me: Hmmm….talking spider. Yuh….okay. I wasn’t *yanking* on the hand towel, I was trying to use it.
Spider: You yanked. I almost fell off. I’m not a cat; I have 8 *legs*, not 8 lives.

Me: Cats have 9 lives, not eight.

Spider: :::snorts::: Rub it in that I’m even more disadvantaged.

Me: Um, it’s lives they have 9 of, not…… oh never mind. So….Spider, you hang out here often?

Spider: A pickup line? You meet up with a talking spider and the best you can do is a pickup line? :::mumbles::: Not the most brilliant bulb in the package, is she?

Me: What was that? It’s “brightest!” The expression is “not the brightest bulb in the pack.”

Spider: Oooooo, aren’t we the BRIGHT one now? ::: lifts corner of upper lip:::

Me: Great. Of all the spiders to meet up with, I get the snarky mouthy one. So what would you want to tell me, then?

Spider: I met someone here last night. When I was hanging. Out. Julia.

Me: Julia? You met another spider and she had a name?

Spider: Yeah. Julia. She was at another hangout on the other towel rack across from me. I spied ‘er with my little eye.

Me: Oh geez. You’re worse than that wheel of cheese in the TV commercial.

Spider: So now my jokes are cheesy?

Me: Um, this is getting weird.

Spider: Hey. It’s *your* head you’re hearing voices in. I was just hanging out here when you started yanking on the hand towel.

Me: I DIDN’T yank! I…..oh never mind. :::walks off to get an aspirin and a cold compress for head:::

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