This morning I got up and went into the bathroom as per my usual routine. Emptied the old bladder, readying it for a refill, washed my hands, and brushed my teeth. And that’s where my usual routine went awry. Was not usual or routine. For as I pulled on the hand towel a little more to wipe my fingers again, I was surprised by a spider. A Daddy Longlegs, to be exact.
I mindlessly said, “Well, well, what are you doing here with the hand towel? Good thing I saw you!“ And surprised is what I was once more. He answered me.
Spider: I’m just hanging out. The question to be asked is why are *you* yanking on the hand towel.
Me: Hmmm….talking spider. Yuh….okay. I wasn’t *yanking* on the hand towel, I was trying to use it.
Me: Cats have 9 lives, not eight.
Spider: :::snorts::: Rub it in that I’m even more disadvantaged.
Me: Um, it’s lives they have 9 of, not…… oh never mind. So….Spider, you hang out here often?
Spider: A pickup line? You meet up with a talking spider and the best you can do is a pickup line? :::mumbles::: Not the most brilliant bulb in the package, is she?
Me: What was that? It’s “brightest!” The expression is “not the brightest bulb in the pack.”
Spider: Oooooo, aren’t we the BRIGHT one now? ::: lifts corner of upper lip:::
Me: Great. Of all the spiders to meet up with, I get the snarky mouthy one. So what would you want to tell me, then?
Spider: I met someone here last night. When I was hanging. Out. Julia.
Me: Julia? You met another spider and she had a name?
Spider: Yeah. Julia. She was at another hangout on the other towel rack across from me. I spied ‘er with my little eye.
Me: Oh geez. You’re worse than that wheel of cheese in the TV commercial.
Spider: So now my jokes are cheesy?
Me: Um, this is getting weird.
Spider: Hey. It’s *your* head you’re hearing voices in. I was just hanging out here when you started yanking on the hand towel.
Me: I DIDN’T yank! I…..oh never mind. :::walks off to get an aspirin and a cold compress for head:::