Tuesday, August 22, 2017

A Special Little Trip

So, last week my sisters, who were in Florida visiting our mom’s husband Jimmy, contacted me and asked if Megan and I wanted to meet up with them on their way back to Massachusetts. They were going to stop at my niece Jessie’s house which is 2 hours from us. Of course I said yes!

They were getting a hotel room to stay at and offered to let us sleep there too, so we’d have more time together.

Megan and I packed our bags for an overnight stay and left at 3:00 Friday afternoon.

It took us 3 hours instead of 2 because I got lost towards the end and backtracked across several towns a few times. I totally panicked because I don’t have a GPS in my car, but was on the phone with Philip, him trying to calm me and guide me to Jessie’s street. 

We all met at Jessie’s and right away they took us out to eat at the Golden Corral. It was so big, like the Disney World of buffet restaurants! 

Afterwards we went to the hotel room, where Megan immediately staked her claim.

She brought some of her dollhouse people to play with, and made a growling face at me when I took another picture!

We took lots of photos and talked and laughed…Jessie and Kris...


Jessie and Susan…

Megan and her bestie cousin Jessie!

Megan, Susan, Kris, and me.

After Jessie’s friend took her back to her house, we watched Live PD and went to sleep. In the morning I said goodbye to Kris and Susan, who wanted to get on the road early as they had a long drive back to Mass ahead of them. Megan was too sleepy to wake up!

Megan and I ate breakfast and drove on home, tired but happy from our wonderful special trip. Back to regular everyday life, which isn’t so bad with all the little special times sprinkled in like jimmies on a sundae. :-) 

Thursday, July 13, 2017

A Conversation with Megan #7

As we’re in the kitchen making lunch:

Megan: Dat spidewr in my dowwhouse?

Me: Yes?

Megan: He got afwaid.

Me: He got afraid? Of what?

Megan: Of da fundewr.

Me: So what happened?

Megan: He used his long legs and wun away!

Me, trying not to laugh at the visual: What did he do after that?

Megan, shrugging: He’s stiww dawre. He’s in anovewr woom.

Me: Well what does he do in there?

Megan: I dunno. He better not pway wiv my peepoo (people)!

Me: What would you do if he did play with your people? Punch him in the nose?

Megan, giving me a withering look: Mummy! He doesn’t HAVE a nose! He’s a spidewr!

Me, getting quieter: Okay, what do I know? I’m just a mom, I don’t know anything about these spiders that might play with dollhouse people but don’t have noses….

Monday, March 6, 2017

He Knoweth Our Frame

This is an article that I wrote 2 years ago, but it is every bit as relevant still today. I hope you take it to heart.

He Knoweth Our Frame…

I turned 50 recently, not even a month ago, and I’ve been thinking of lessons I’ve learned. It’s not like I know everything; let’s face it: I’m not “there” yet and never will be. I’ll always be learning and growing, and that’s a good thing; the alternative would be stagnancy, apathy, and…death.

But in my half century of life (gulp!), I’ve had the privilege of learning a few things, and for that I am truly thankful. One thing I came to understand years ago has served me well, and I am so grateful to God for blessing me with this understanding.

It’s based on a scripture that I came across a long time ago that came to be so important to me, it had a pivotal influence on my entire life. I’ve had occasion to share it with others at times, and hopefully it made an impact on their lives too.

For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. Psalm 103:14

We all make mistakes in life, we all mess up, make poor choices, make the wrong decisions, etc. We’ve hurt others, done wrong to them, whether deliberately or incidentally, and when that happens, we need to go to them and own up, ask for forgiveness, and seek reconciliation.

The goal is to restore relationships, through honesty, repentance, and forgiveness. I’m not really going to get into that, seeking forgiveness from others. Most people, even if they struggle with it, are willing to forgive. But even as hard as that may be for some, sometimes forgiving ourselves is the hardest part. Sometimes we just can’t get past the fact that we’ve done something wrong.

And that very fact can hinder our relationships…with God, others, and ourselves. Yes, I did say with ourselves.

Our relationships are all directly linked to how we view ourselves, and that is impacted negatively when all we can do is fret about the things we’ve done wrong, to hold those infractions against ourselves. It’s like a constant battering of our self-esteem, breaking it down little by little.

And we do it to ourselves, by not forgiving ourselves.

I happen to have been an expert at that. I spent years going through periods where I would lay awake at night, thinking in the dark, and it seemed every bad thing I’d ever done would come to mind, making me feel worthless and hopeless.

I didn’t understand at the time how this was affecting me, working against me; all I could see was that I had made so many mistakes in my life, and as time went on, there were so many more to think about and assault my sense of self-worth. I’m not going to argue about that term, deemed derogatory and un-Christ-like by some Christians.

Because from what I read in my bible, God loves us, thinks enough of us, that He sent His son to die on the cross to pay for our sins. And if the Creator, the great I Am, looks on us and loves us enough to sacrifice His own son for us, then I believe we should value ourselves enough to forgive ourselves the myriad mistakes we make in our lives.

And because that seems to be so hard for some of us, we need to look at ourselves the way God does, see ourselves through His eyes. And thus, the verse:

For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. Psalm 103:14

God sees our mistakes; He knows all about them. He knew every one of them before we ever thought of them or committed them. We know that from Jeremiah 1:5, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

And yet He still loves us, He still has the offer of forgiveness and salvation on the table. He still sees us as having worth. And therein lies our hope.

None of this negates the fact that we are sinful creatures in need of forgiveness from a holy God; indeed, it exemplifies the fact that “…while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8.

Why? Again, the verse:

For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. Psalm 103:14

Our hope is right there, wrapped up in that verse of scripture: God knows that we are dust. He recognizes our humanity. He knows and understands the frailty of our humanness, our propensity to fall and stumble in life.

And therefore, He offers forgiveness. He doesn’t hold it against us; instead, He offers us grace and mercy.

If God is willing to do that, who are we to withhold the same forgiveness from ourselves? Should we not extend that same grace towards ourselves, laying a hindrance, a stumbling block, a very trap for ourselves with our lack of forgiveness? Good gravy marie, no!

We should follow His example, and see ourselves how God sees us, as His children who He made, who have worth and value. His children, who are dust.

It isn’t a bad thing to have a healthy sense of self-worth. It allows us to move forward, to crawl out of that pit of self-loathing and despair, and keep striving towards being the people God wants us to be. To be learning, growing, each becoming who He’d have us to be.

And we can’t do that when we’re bogged down in a mire of regrets, rehashing our mistakes and failures. We can only do that by remembering how God sees us, and forgiving ourselves as He does.

Once again, I’d like to leave you with that very important verse. Please, take it to heart.

For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust. Psalm 103:14

Photo: Memo Akten

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Mom's Memorial

My lovely Mom

I haven’t really written much about my mom dying, but the reason is simply that I’ve had so many doctor appointments between everyone in the family, I haven’t felt I had the time to give it the attention it deserves. Because Mom died Dec. 2nd, so close to Christmas, and she was being cremated according to her wishes, we decided to hold a memorial for her instead of a funeral, and to hold it the first weekend in February.

So our family planned and packed, no small undertaking with six people going, scooped up my niece Jessie, who lives 2 hours from us, and off we went to Massachusetts on the first. The memorial was scheduled for Saturday morning, the 4th, at the same place where we held my beloved brother Steven’s funeral.

Since we had so few days to be back north, and so many family members we wanted to spend time with, our lunches and or suppers were planned out to make the most of our time there and spend it with family members. And, too, we were making the foods for the fellowship meal after the memorial, so we got to spend time together cooking, baking, and catching up.

Kris at the end, Megan, Phil

The first night we got there we had the pleasure of a New England boiled dinner at my sister Kris’s and my niece Becky’s house. I didn’t get all the photos I wanted to take because after we ate, we played game after game of Mad Libs and laughed and laughed! What a wonderful night!

Susan, Caity, and me

The next day my sister Susan and I baked and baked, cupcakes, cookies, and more as we talked almost non-stop about anything and everything. I loved the time sharing from the heart in the afternoon. Caity came in and we took a quick pic together. 

The night of the memorial, we went to spend our last night there at my Dad and his wife's house, eating my favorite Papa Gino's pizza, looking through recipes, and generally enjoying some chatter around the dinner table. And I forgot to get pics!

Kris, me, Caitlin, and Susan

But that morning, at the memorial, we sang some of my mom’s favorite hymns, and each of us daughters got up and spoke. Kris read Mom’s favorite Psalm, 91, and talked about not only the impact Mom had on our lives, but also the impact she had on the community in her various roles as 4-H leader, nurse, friend, Girl Scout leader, and the like. Susan spoke about what it was like to have Mom as a mother, what she meant to us as a mother, and the wonderful childhood we had because of her.

I spoke of my mother in poems. I read two poems that I had written for her, one before she died, and one after. I’d like to share the poem I wrote ten days after Mom died. It’s called The Gift. 


Hug your mommy tight,
like you’ll never let her go,
for there’ll come a time
when you won’t have her,
though when, you will not know.
Tell her that you love her,
whenever you are near,
and when you hug your mommy tight,
whisper in her ear:
tell her that she’s beautiful,
inside her soul and out;
make sure she knows you mean it,
don’t leave her any doubt.
Look deep into her pretty eyes,
and let her see your smile,
give her this one greatest gift
to last her for a while:
leave all the past where it belongs,
start every day anew,
and when your mommy leaves this earth
you’ll see the gift’s for you…
You spent your days in giving self
and thinking of the other,
you showed her only loving acts
and when God takes your mother,
you’ll have no regrets in your soul,
nor regrets in your heart;
your love will stand eternally
no matter if you part.
So hug your mommy very tight
like you’ll never let her go,
and hold those memories to your heart
and know she loved you so.

~VJC 12.12.16~

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Laundry: A Conversation with Megan #6

So Megan and I were talking about things we have to do to prepare for our trip up north for the memorial service for my mom. Most of you know my mom died last month, and it’s been so hard on us, Megan especially. But while she is grieving her Granny, she’s also excited about traveling back to Massachusetts for four days. Today we’re going to make sure all the clothes we need to take are clean for the trip.

Megan: Awre we goin’ to da laundwomat to do da cwoves?

Me: Yeah, after Phil gets home.

Megan: Can we wash my doww cwoves?

Me: Yep!

Megan, talking to her doll Emily: Did you heawr dat Emily? Gwammie says we can wash youwr cwoves!

Emily, in a voice that sounds surprisingly like Megan’s, only high pitched: Okay, but I don’t want dem washed wiv da towels.

Megan: Are dawre gonna be towels in da load?

Me: Yes, I have a few.

Megan, so serious: Emily doesn’t want hewr cwoves washed wiv da towels.

Me: Okay, we can put the towels in another load. A different one. Why doesn’t she want her clothes washed with the towels?

Megan: Because she doesn’t.

Me: But why?

Megan: Because she’ww be pissed. <in that half lisp she has :) >

Me: Oh…..okay.

Megan, happily chattering to Emily again: See Emily? We’ww get youwr laundwy done!

Emily: Okay Mamma!

Megan: Dat’ll be so much fun! An’ we’wre goin’ to da hotew (hotel) an’ you can wear youwr coat! I can’t wait!! It’s gonna be so much fun! I want to take a baff in da tub! An’ get fwied cwams! 

Monday, December 26, 2016

Christmas 2016

Another Christmas has come and gone. For me, this Christmas was very different because it comes just weeks after my mom died. After her surgery and release from the rehab center, we had planned on Megan and I flying down to help care for Mom and her hubby, Jimmy. Phil and the boys would then drive down and we’d spend Christmas there, my first Christmas with my mom in 14 years.

But that was not to be. Mom passed away December 2nd, and our hearts, barely beginning mending from my beloved brother Steven’s death in 2014, were shattered into even more pieces. My battered heart seeks comfort and refuge in my Savior, as I remind myself that Mom’s death passed through the hands of God...he allowed it for reasons we may never know. But knowing he is on the throne soothes the deep bruises on my heart.

Even with our ever-present grief, we had a nice relaxing Christmas. The kids decorated gingerbread cookies, as per our annual tradition. That was so much fun!

Ryan and Timmy had each asked for one high price item, which we were able to finagle, with the help of my lovely daughter Caitlin. Ryan’s is an iPhone that unfortunately won’t arrive until the 27th. But he’s being a good sport about that. :-)

Timmy’s big ticket item is an Xbox One S with Minecraft on it. He’s been playing it ever since. ;-)

Megan, of course, wanted puzzles and new dollhouse people. We got her an entire Hispanic family and then a set of differently abled people! There are a man in a wheelchair, a deaf woman, and about 4 more people with various special needs.

Megan was especially thrilled with the man in a wheelchair, so I tried to get a photo…..

Then I said, “Megan, smile this time.” And this is what I got….

She looks like Grumpy Cat. Seriously, doesn’t she? Hahaha

I hope everyone else had a nice Christmas too. Whether you’re in the midst of change, a difficult situation, or grieving the loss of a loved one, Christmas is a time for families to gather and remember the birth of the Savior, God’s own gift of hope for us all. Be blessed! ♥ 

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Scrap Ribbon Tree Ornament

This is a very simple craft project that you can do with your children of almost any age and end up with ornaments for the Christmas tree. If they are able to perform the first step of tying shoes, then they will be able to make this. And if not, maybe this will help them learn how!

What you’ll need are:

a twig for each ornament, about 8 inches long and about ¼ inch in circumference

ribbon in several complimentary colors (cloth or silky varieties, wide or narrow)


twine for hanging (optional)

Cut the ribbon into 6-7 inch strips. I chose to arrange them in an eye-pleasing order so the kids could use them in that order, but they ended up just choosing them randomly as they saw fit, and then I realized that was even better. They truly used their own creativity in making them. ;)

Start from the bottom, wrapping a ribbon around the twig in the fashion of the first step in tying shoes, about 1 ½ inches from the bottom of the twig.

Megan is shown in the middle photo working on hers, and Angela is on the right, adjusting the placement of the ribbons on hers.

Add on strips of ribbon until you get within about ½ -¾ inch from the top. Adjust the ribbon and flatten as needed or as desired.

Now it’s time to trim the ribbon so it takes on the shape of a Christmas tree. I found it easiest to turn it upside down, with the top towards me, and trim that way. Cut diagonally, closer to the twig, and gradually getting further away from the twig as you go down, so the bottom ribbons will be wider across.

Turn it around, and tie on a hanger. We used some simple twine, but you could use a piece of ribbon if you desire. The twine seemed to hold good.

Your children now have their own handmade ornament for your Christmas tree!